Spotted

The entire Lohan family minus Lindsay.  Shocker, I know.  Dina pretty much resembles a rotting persimmon, and Ali is a spitting image of her big sis.  The two boys are surprisingly cute and normal looking.

Who knew the Lohans went on vacations in places other than New Jersey or Long Island?  They actually know how to ski!!

Quotes by Andrea

Who: Andrea, Jim, Gina

When: 1:30pm

Where: Edwards, Colorado

Scenario: As Andrea, Jim and Gina walk out of Gorsuch:

"Ugh, I just hate it when I walk out of a store and haven't bought anything."

Prison Break

Greetings from Vail, Colorado!  

The Phelps family relocated from the insane assylum to Vail on Christmas day.  We woke up at 8:30, opened our gifts, enjoyed our standard Christmas Day breakfast of Dad's scrambled eggs and Bloody Marys, Will's berries and cream, and Mom's Pillsbury Grands cinnamon rolls.  'Twas a truly classy affair.

After eight hours of travel, we arrived at our very good family friends (the Lorenzens) townhouse.  The Lorenzen family includes the mom and dad: Gina and Jim, and their two children, Kara and Tom.  My dad and Jim were fraternity brothers at the Sigma Chi chapter at Colorado College.  It's amazing that these two men came out of college as heterosexuals, seeing as four of their fraternity bothers came out of the closet post-college.  After my parents got married and moved to Colorado, Jim and Bill reconnected, and Andrea and Gina were fast friends.  They shared a genuine love for Chardonnay, dinner parties, shopping, and babies.

Side note:  I've got to share my favorite story about Gina.  When they first started having babies, they were pretty much clueless.  Gina had Tom after Will and I had been born, and one day my mom invited them over for a playdate.  My mom watched Gina through the window as she attempted to transport Tom from the car to the house.  

Gina successfully removed Tom from the carseat, and spent about five minutes struggling to get him into his Baby Bjorn, so that they could safely enter the house.  It never occurred to her that she could simply carry Tom into the house by hand!  The process of being a new mother is just so amazing and hysterical to me, I can't wait till my girlfriends and I go through that together.

Anyways, we have been having the time of our lives.  My stomach is sore from all of the belly laughs we've enjoyed.  Stay tuned: I've got some good ones coming - particularly heavy in "Quotes by Andrea".

Fire drills are important afterall

The insanity continues.  Our alarm system has not been working lately, and we've had some pretty interesting experiences because of it.  The first was when, of course, my mom was taking a nap and I was sitting right next to the blaring speaker, and we both nearly had a heart attack.  

The second?  Ohhhhh the second.  I was really excited to go do some Christmas wrapping because I absolutely love wrapping gifts.  Just as I got settled on the floor with everything around me the gosh darned alarm goes off again.

Now.  This is no normal alarm.  The alarm screams "FIRE! FIRE! EVACUATE THE PREMISE!" and then this fun phrase is followed up by the sound of an enormous fog horn.  That part I don't quite get, but I mean, the sheer terror that this thing evokes would turn a dead person over in their grave.

Oh but there's more.  In the midst of the alarm, the alarm company calls to see if it's a real emergency.  Of course I can't hear the lady talking, but in the midst of screaming "FALSE ALARM"  I hear her ask for the password.  the password?  How on earth am I supposed to know the password?

So in one hand I've got the landline, and in the other hand I've got my cell phone, and I repeatedly try to get a hold of my parents.  No answer.  Ever.

The lady puts me on hold and after about four minutes the alarm goes off.  thank GOODNESS!  I continue to stay on hold as my ears are ringing, and about 8 minutes go by.  Finally I just hang up on this lady.  

Just as I do so, I hear the St Helena Fire Alarm go off.  CRAP!  Now the whole volunteer firemens' fleat is dropping whatever they're doing to come put out a false-alarm-fire.

The really sad thing is that I did not even think to call 911!  I've heard that in times of panic people sometimes forget that they're supposed to call 911 - that or I'm just trying to make myself feel better.

Long story short, the fire marshall comes to my house, and just as the fire truck's wails get closer, he tells them its a false alarm, and they could go back.

Just a typical Wednesday at the Phelps Household.

Okay I'm not sure why the link won't post, but the song is Billy Idol's White Wedding Parts 1 & 2.

Check it out!

Song of the moment

I recently flew to DC to visit my Vandy roomate, Catherine, and my friend Dante loaned me his iPod.  Well I just fell in love with this song!  Make sure you listed to it in it's entirety; it starts off as a rock song and then turns into an 80's pop music song!  It's really fun to follow the progression of the song!   Brace yourself, though, you've gotta dedicate 8 minutes and 22 seconds to this baby...

Mommy don't leave me!

The Dog is on Drugs

Henry has been given a prescription for RECONCILE

and I quote: "for the treatment of canine SEPERATION ANXIETY in conjunction with a behavior modification plan.

Are you kidding me! The pharmeceutical companies have taken it this far???

This dog is so loved, and has been given so much attention and he needs a daily dose of RECONCILE!

Whats next? Dog PSYCOLOGISTS???

I guess so!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAmPIr4pcNw

Quotes by Andrea

Time: 7:30 am

Place: Living Room Couch

Who: Will, Henry, Andrea, Tree Trimmers

Quote: "UGH! I hate it when I have to get up and DO something!"

Four Christmasses Schmore Shrishmishes

My mom and I tied a couple of days on to our trip to LA to spend some time with our good friend Maureen Hollingsworth. She hosted this big cocktail party for us on Monday night and I got to see a lot of the ladies that I knew when I was in elementary and middle school (Including Debbie Giss, Susie Talt, and Denise Botsford! Gotta love the days of carpool!)

Anyways, the day after, we decided we would see a late afternoon movie. So we checked the movie times on Mo's blackberry, and decided to see a 5:30 showing of Four Christmasses. We did a bit of shopping beforehand (during which I found an AMAZING silk yellow dress at BCBG, but was politely informed that I had no job and no money and that I was not allowed to buy it. I'm telling you this thing was a piece of artwork!!! It would have been an artistic investment, really!)

Whoa. Tangent much? So we get to the theatre, buy the tickets, and then head to the concession stand for popcorn, cokes and sour patch kids (duh!). Mo promptly spends sixteen dollars on one large popcorn, one medium popcorn, one small coke, one large diet coke, and one pack of SPKs. We then head to the theatre, only to learn that our movie was already over and had actually started at 4:20.

So. Not only were the movie times innaccurate, they actually sold us tickets for a movie that was already over!!!!

Mo and my mom jumped into pissed-off-were-not-gonna-take-this mode. They got refunds for the tickets, and refunds for the popcorn and sodas! Literally? They stood at the counter eating their popcorn, and telling the guy they wanted refunds. I tell ya, these women were professionals!

After all that we ended up going back to Mo's, eating leftovers, and going to bed at 9:30.

I'm thinking I need to start hanging out more with kids my own age.

Quotes by Andrea

"Come hang out with the Phelps!

You'll be fat as a pig, and drunk as a skunk!"

Who's Who?

Let me start by prefacing that my Mom has a helluva time trying to identify each of her family member's names.  It's not like she named us or anything, right?  And not only that?  But Henri's name has now been thrown into the mix!  For instance, whenever she needs help with some sort of laborious task, she immediately calls upon my brother for help.  This is when extreme confusion kicks in.

"Allie!  BILL!  ugh!  Henri!  Will!"

I swear it's not long before she'll start calling out the name of our three legged "mouser" cat named George.

Anyways, yesterday my Mom left and entire message on my cell phone that was intended for my father to hear.  That means she listened to my entire answering machine message, and still went on to leave a message.  My message is an automated message; my father's is a personal message.  

Needless to say I had to play the message three times in order to figure out the real message she was trying to portray.

No big deal, I'm a model

My brother's darling girlfriend Amanda Peck is a super gifted make-up artist. We did this shoot when we were in Santorini, Greece and my brother served as the photographer.

It was so much fun!

http://amandapeckmakeup.com/index2.php

Every family has their traditions

Lets face it, every family has their own strange traditions when it comes to celebrating the holiday season.  Some families run to Sears at 4:30 in the morning to capitalize on those mind  boggling day-after-Thanksgiving-sales.  Some people make sure they are fully stocked with Wonder Bread in order to keep the leftovers going just as long as their lingering guests are at the house.

The Phelpses?

We shoot pumpkins.

This Thanksgiving served as our third annual Pumpkin Demolition Tradition.  In the past two years, the PDT has been carried out with the use of such items as saws, knives, axes, and sowers, however this year we incorporated a new element: the shotgun.  Our great friend Bob Zenzic is an avid hunter, and upon my mother's suggestion, brought his sawed off shotgun (sp?)  for Thanksgiving this year.

Well let me tell you!  This thing was a doozy!  I'm talking ear plugs, bracing your arms for the blow - all of that good stuff!  We had to warn various winery employees that we would be shooting our pumpkins with shotguns beforehand.  Not a statement you hear everyday, is it?

Anyways, we had a grand old time shooting, stabbing, and hacking away at all of the pumpkins my mom had bought for the holidays.  

There's definitely something to be said for taking out any familial/holiday frustrations on an unassuming pumpkin.  Keep em coming!

(pictures soon to follow)

Little Devil Dog

Happy belated Thanksgiving to all!

I hope everyone had a wonderful day filled with deep friers, tequila, and salsa dancing!  Or wait, is that only a Phelps family tradition?

This year the Phelps Family deep fried one turkey, and bbq'ed another.  Let me tell you, this was QUITE an endeavor for everyone.  We had our best family friends, the Zenzics, here for Christmas and THANK GOD because there is no way the Phelps Family alone could pull of such an event.  

Here's what I cooked:

The stuffing ( including HOME MADE biscuits... um, yeah)

The cranberries (two batches, mind you)

The Mexican casserole we ate the night before Thanksgiving

The mashed potatoes

The green bean casserole

The apple cider

NBD.

Lets just say that my father's Gin and Tonics were pretty much my main source of sustenance  during the whole process.  Good job, Papa Phelps.

SO here comes the bit about the Little Devil Dog.  My mom and I embarked on a early day of food shopping the Monday before Thanksgiving.  This trip entailed a stop at Whole Foods as well as a visit to two different Luckys in an attempt to find six gallons of Peanut oil for our new deep frier.  Lets just say that peanut oil is not cheap, and it's not easy to come by.

Our nine year old black poodle terrier mix by the name of Henry had the pleasure of accompanying us on our food/bargain crazed trip that day.  He was acting veeeeeerry strange.  Like he was sedated or something.  We were really worried about him and convinced ourselves that he had gotten sick from the tick that my mom had pulled out of his belly the day before.  (You think I'm joking?  Cause I'm not...)

Anyways, once we started getting food in the car, it became apparent to us that Henry the little devil dog should not be trusted with an entire trunk full of food.  Well, the Thanksgiving-food-mania-spell got the best of us, and we convinced ourselves that Henri was too sick and out of it to consider rooting around for some food.

After finding the second Lucky's and rolling out of the store with two 3 gallon boxes of peanut oil, we got back in the car exHAUSTED and STARVING.  We had been shopping for FIVE HOURS!

I open the door and immediately sense that something does not smell right.  I tell my mom "It smells like food in here".  Then I proceed to look down on the floor of the backseat to find one RAW CHICKEN WING lying abandoned at the feet of the floor.  "Oh s***" I say and my mom says "WHUUUT!?!?!"

"Henry got a chicken wing!"

We then go to the trunk to survey the damage, and find that Henry has managed to eat enough styrofoam and plastic to measle one tiny chicken wing out of a package of about 20. 

The entire event can be witnessed by the picture below.  As you can see, Henry made his kill at the left top corner of the container.

Apparently raw chicken is not as good as the cooked stuff.